Things My Russian Says

The running joke 'round the coffee club counter is that I tease the Russian about his alleged association with the KGB, and that he sends weekly status updates to the Kremlin about his activities here to undermine, dishearten and spread general desolation and disillusionment in the capitalist system we enjoy (e.g. "well it's Friday, another week of our lives pissed away, until we die" is his usual Friday morning greeting).
Yesterday, for some reason, he started vacuuming the carpet in his work area, and a co-worker on the other side of the partition, who was on the phone, became very irate.
Today I asked him if he was going to mention in his weekly report his successful use of his "Weapons of Mass Disturbance".