A search engine saved my life today

I got a lovely reply from a gentleman to one of my online personal ads. He seemed intelligent and funny and very articulate and shared many of the same interests. It looked very promising. And then, out of curiosity (because he either foolishly or trustingly provided his full and rather unique name), I “Googled” him. Turns out, he's a member of some "Pony Play" forum boards and seems to actively participate in the lifestyle.

For those who do not know, “Pony Play” is a particularly interesting and unique fetish consisting of people who dress-up in BDSM wear and pretend to be ponies. Little saddles and carriages and riding crops come into play, as does the insertion in a certain body cavity of a decorative “tail”.
I don't want to judge, everyone has their unique peccadilloes, I just know it's not for me and I'd rather know now than after investing time and energy with him and then him telling me about all of this after a couple of weeks or months of dating. I loathe having my time wasted.

*shudder* Needless to say I will NOT be responding to his email.
Thank you Google, thank you.

Into the Fray

After a self-imposed hiatus, I have re-entered the "dating scene" with a couple of profiles on some on-line dating sites and joining some singles-events groups in my metropolis. I fully expect the first weedy crop of suitors to be of that particular brand of man that simply is looking for sex. I understand that and will chop them down at the knees accordingly. While a nice one-night toe-curling session is occasionally a welcome thing I am on a mission this time. I have a certain lofty goal in mind...

A real-ationship. Emphasis on the "real".

Will post updates soon.

Wish me luck.

Frugalicious

Velvet Rose is feeling blue today.

I paid off a bunch of my bills this morning and have come to the bleak realization that there will be no swanky cocktails, shoe, clothes or makeup purchases nor even lunch purchases from the cute new sushi boite, for a rather long time.

Budgeting was never my forte. Unless I can find a sweet sugar Daddy interested in a temporary arrangement, it seems I have to be frugal for the next little while. And unfortunately frugal also may mean anti-social.

Apologies in advance to my dear friends. How about a nice girl's poker nite and pot luck, or a Girl's Nite In with popcorn and movies?

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2008/07/17/100-things-to-do-during-a-money-free-weekend/

Opportunity Comes Knocking?

The Russian asked me out to lunch today. Just he and I. Seems he forgot his lunch at home. He never forgets his lunch at home.

I am still kicking myself for having turned him down.

Appropos of nothin....

R: how do you say "I love you" in Portuguese?
VL: *writes the phrase on a post-it note and pronounces it slowly* it's read like it's written, it's an easy phonetic language to learn
R: like French?
VL: gah, so not like French! French is complicated, a missapplied accent can change everything
R: it's not that hard
VL: so now you want to know a fourth language?
R: it will come in handy
VL: yes it will. Now that you know how to say it I expect to hear it from you much more often.
R: *laughs*

Leaving the Comfort Zone

Every so often I find myself wrapped too tightly in the security of my comfort zone. I stop trying to do new things, meet new people, or expand my mindset. The circle of friends is getting smaller and smaller and I don't think it's up to them anyway to keep me out of my rut. They have things to do as well.

So today I am going to a swanky bar in the downtown core to have overpriced drinks with a bunch of strangers. A cocktail meeting of other women in the same boat brought together by an internet chat-room post. Why the hell not? The worst thing that can happen is that they don't like my shoe/handbag combo and sniff and turn up their noses and turn their backs on me. Boo frikken hoo. At best I'll have a drink in my hand, and we all know that copious amounts of alcohol is the best social lubricant.

Last Day of School

I remember when I was younger that the last day of school seemed to have this kind of magical quality. In grade school we attended class, but nothing concrete was really taught. Some teachers would let us chatter and goof around until the bell, and others would make us write in journals, or do What I Learned this Year essays. Mostly, I sat near the window and dreamed. And waited. The summer stretched out before me like a seemingly endless time to play, swim, sleep, watch TV, skin my knees climbing trees, curl my toes into sand or lie on grass just staring at the sky and seeing shapes in the clouds. All the possibilities for nothing and everything swirling in my head and waiting for the sluggish minute hand to cycle the clock.

The older I became the less I dreamed of the possibilities of summer. It semed just another few months of the year that were hotter than the rest, and there was more time to work at the job, more daylight to get chores and errands accomplished. I forgot to curl my toes in the sand. I didn't schedule time to lay on the grass. And before I knew it, summer was gone, the weather cooler and I never got the chance to play.

I want to play again before I see my last summer.

Russian drops off some paperwork in my IN-Tray...

R: more work for you
VR: you know one day i'm going to look into my tray and find you have left me a love letter instead of work
R: hah, you don't need a letter, you know how i feel about you
VR: still, a girl likes to hear it once in a while
R: you mean read it, you just want it in writing
VR: yes, that and a pre-nup
R: HA! so if we got married and then divorced, you wouldn't get mad...
VR:...I'd get half! LOL
R: you know the other day I saw a Porche with the license plate "WAS HIS"
VR: LOL!! i love it!

I've been pushed and pulled to the brink of tenderness
feeling like the expanse of skin and sinew,
blood and bone
that pushed out into the world, new.
You made me scream when I was past language,
grunting and moaning when I was devoid of words.
Make me believe again
in flesh and bone,
and in the sacred secret praise of sweat and stain.
Lick the marrow and click together teeth in chilling sweet shudder,
but do not leave me, alone, in this darkness.

SATC and The Pashmina Mafia

This coming Friday me and the gals are finally going to go see Sex and the City: The Movie. We tried to go opening weekend but it was sold out. Crazy. We plan on drinking many martinis and Cosmopolitans and teetering in our Jimmy Choos.

I wasn't always a fan of SATC, but once I started watching I was a little shocked and comforted at the parallels between my life and the lives of the characters - we were going through very similar situations in our dating lives. It was nice to know I wasn't the only one.

People have said I am a "Samantha", but I like to think I am a little bit of all of them combined. I can be super-confident and sexually liberated like Samantha (although we all know her overt confidence often masked a deeper insecurity). I can also be obsessively romantic and prudish like Charlotte and have often called upon her eternal hope and optimism to see myself through things. I can also be a bit self-loathing and uber-critical of men like Miranda, but like her, needing the stability and grounding of a man who will love me even through my crazy episodes. And I'm a lot like Carrie. Carrie and Big. Too much like her for my liking sometimes. Except for the shoe obsession. I only have about 100 pairs. Really.

Will report back on what we thought of the film next week.